WASHINGTON (WNB) - The Obama administration sent a powerful message to the world on Friday by illuminating the White House in the colors of the rainbow.
Borrowing God's visual promise to never again destroy the world's population by flooding, the multicolored-lit White House appeared to be a message from President Obama that he will never use full-scale flooding to kill all life, a move praised by Pope Francis and other religious leaders.
"We, who follow God in condemning war and destruction, applaud President Obama's vow to never destroy all life on this planet with a flood. Peace is the only answer," said the Pontiff.
Obama administration vows to never destroy all life with flood
WASHINGTON (WNB) - IRS employees testifying before the House Oversight Committee say that former IRS head Lois Lerner's hard drive appeared to have failed due to "impact damage."
An IRS technician who was summoned to repair Lerner's computer found the hard drive had 'crashed.' Upon examination, it was determined that data on the unit was non-recoverable because of the severity of the failure. The following is an excerpt from the hearing:
Rep. Jim Jordon (R-Ohio): Mr. Walker, as the IRS IT technician sent to repair Mrs. Lerner's computer, in your professional opinion, what caused the hard drive to crash or fail?
IRS technician Chris Walker: I'd say possibly an impact.
Rep. Jordon: Like the computer was jarred?
Walker: In a manner of speaking, yes.
Rep. Jordon: The computer had impact damage?
Walker: Well, not to the PC, but the hard drive.
Rep. Jordan: The computer was fine, but the hard drive inside had damage?
Rep. Jordan: What kind of impact damage are we talking about here?
Walker: It's hard to say. Like maybe an axe or something like that.
Rep. Jordon: It had dents like it had been struck with an axe?
Walker: More like gouges. Gouges and dents.
Rep. Jordon: How many gouges would you say?
Walker: I don't know exactly. Maybe 20 or 30.
Rep. Jordon: So somehow an axe-like object inside the computer struck the hard drive 20 to 30 times, destroying it?
Walker: Yes, I would say so.
Rep. Jordon: This doesn't sound physically possible, wouldn't you agree, Mr. Walker?
The state-run North Korean news outlet reports that leader Kim Jong-un has produced a revolutionary serum that cures Aids, Ebola, SARS, and MERS.
According to the report, the elixir's main ingredient is ginseng, which is eaten in large quantities by Jong-un, whose body then produces the serum. No mention is made of how the serum is collected or administered.
Vatican Clarifies "Immense Pile Of Filth" Remark
In response to criticism over his referring to the earth as an "immense pile of filth," the Vatican issued a statement on Friday saying, "While our entire planet is facing environmental challenges, His Holiness was specifically referring to Detroit."
Democrats Decry Gun Violence
In the wake of the mass shooting at a Charleston, South Carolina church Wednesday night, Democrats are calling for restrictions on guns.
"These guns are killing people all over the place and must be stopped," Rep. Maxine Waters (Retard-CA) said in a statement released this morning. "If we can't get rid of all guns completely, at least legislate they must have some kind of stopper in the barrel."
"Again, we see what happens when guns go bad," Tweeted Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (Retard-TX). "I favor the harshest penalty you can think of for any gun that kills or injures a living creature, especially humans."
WASHINGTON (WNB) - Treasury secretary Jack Lew announced that the next $10 bill will feature the face of a prominent black female, in addition to that of Alexander Hamilton.
"The next generation of currency, starting with the new $10 note, will celebrated diversity as well as democracy," said Lew. "In keeping with that theme, it is only appropriate that we feature an African American woman."
The Treasury released an artist's rendering of what the note will look like (below).
VATICAN, Rome (WNB) - A leaked transcript of Pope Francis' encyclical on climate change has been published, days before its scheduled release. In it, the Pope advocates strongly for "climate justice" and calls on mankind to show renewed respect for our planet. An excerpt:
"The earth is fragile, like a little child. By wantonly abusing it for our own selfish gain we are only bringing judgement on ourselves later. Like that little boy, we need to gently but firmly nurture the earth and its ecosystem with a hungry desire to not only satisfy our own needs, but also the needs of the environment. Give a hoot, don't pollute."
LONDON, England (WNB) - First Lady Michelle Obama gave an address on female empowerment to a predominately-Muslim group of young girls in the London borough of Tower Hamlets Tuesday.
Mrs. Obama told the girls that she saw herself in them: "When I look out at all these young women, I see myself - especially the tall, lanky, massively-thighed, big-assed girls with prehistoric facial features."
Sources blamed "poor translation" for the scattered cries from the audience in response to the First Lady's statement.