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OAKLAND (BHN) - Accomplished near-prophet and radio preacher Harold Camping is warning the world to expect the rapture of the Church and fiery end of our planet this Saturday May 21st, at around 6 PM.
Reportedly, dozens of people around the world are readying themselves for this apocalyptic event, no doubt based on Camping's impressive prophetic track record. Almost 17 years ago he predicted the same event would happen on September 6, 1994, to the ultimate disappointment of hundreds of his followers who gathered in an Alameda auditorium that day to stare at the ceiling.
"I was using a crude handheld calculator and a really cheap Bible to figure out the day then. Now I have a brand new Zondervan King James and a Dell laptop with plenty of RAM - I'm pretty sure I've got it this time," said Camping.
My comments: Crap, I only have two days to tell my boss to kiss my butt, have hot monkey sex with Christina Hendricks, kick Obama in the nuts, and steal a new Maserati and break every traffic law ever conceived, all while eating lobsters and chocolate truffles and guzzling endless bottles of Dom! Gotta go!
Preacher Harold Camping goes to the rapture well (again)
