NEW YORK CITY (BHN) - President Obama addressed the United Nations Wednesday morning, and I was there covering the event. Here is my live blog as it happened:
10:15 - President Obama begins his address. He says something about wanting to say something about "peace in a perfect world" or maybe it was "imperfect," I'm not sure as I'm listening from the mens' bathroom next to the room where the President is speaking, and when somebody flushes, I can't hear.
10:15 - 10:30 - The President mentions something about war, then Afghanistan and Iraq then Libya. He's talking about women and minorities now. Apparently, women and minorities are either attacking these countries or are being attacked by these countries. Whatever the case, it's shocking.
10:30 - 10:40 - President Obama is addressing the situation between the Palestinians and Israel. He said something about them "standing in each other's shoes." It seems the Palestinian homeland issue is taking a back seat to the petty theft of footwear. Now he's talking about nuclear weapons - obviously this shoe theft thing is a way bigger problem than any of us realized. There's a lot of flushing going on.
10:40 - 11:00 - Now the President is talking about gays and lesbians(?). There's too much farting to make out the details, but let's hope to God the homos aren't wrapped up in this shoe thing because you know how much they like shoes. Gay people would definitely use weapons of mass destruction against anybody stealing their expensive designer shoes, especially if they're hopped-up on ecstasy and wine coolers. People are clapping, so the President must be done. Good, because I can't breathe.
President Obama addresses the United Nations (artist rendering)