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BIG HAIRY NEWS - When fuzzy news just doesn't cut it, go big, go hairy, or go home.
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Iran Attempt To Orbit Monkey Fails
TEHRAN - Iran acknowledged Wednesday its attempt to send a live monkey into space last month was a failure.
"The mission was flawless, right up to the point where the rocket exploded like a cheap firework," Deputy Science Minister Mohammad Imwerina-Nigown was quoted as saying by the ISNA news agency.
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Mysterious Flaming Hairy Meatballs Rain Down In Syria
AL MAYADIN, SYRIA - Scientists in this remote region of Syria are investigating reports of a "shower of burning meat" that set a small house afire, and traumatized several children.
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Nancy Pelosi Warns of Women Dying On The Floor If Abortion Funding Stopped
WASHINGTON - Former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (Retard-CA) warned that passing a bill that protects taxpayers from subsidizing abortions through Obamacare would result in "women dying on the floors."
Pelosi went on to decry the risk of injury small children would face in possibly tripping over the bodies.
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First Lady Bares Skin In Daring Dress
WASHINGTON - First Lady Michelle Obama, known for her keen fashion sense and style, wore a provocative formal gown to the state dinner for South Korean President Mi bawhang-lo and his wife Yoo reery-suk. The contemporary dress (below) featured an armless design and revealing midriff.
