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PHOENIX (WNB) Scooter Van Neuter Reporting - I was among hundreds of liberal and gay protesters on the Capitol lawn when it was announced that Gov. Brewer had vetoed SB 1062 (The Religious Freedom Restoration Act) Wednesday.
The crowd erupted into celebration. Many were weeping with joy, especially the men and their boyfriends. Everyone was hugging, and one stocky man in a jockstrap and Crocs hugged me all the way to the ground before I was able to fend him off with a warning tap across the face with the barrel of my Sig P229. I kicked him in the nuts for good measure and moved away to avoid the blood splatter (you never know).
A nearby group of Democrat politicians high-fived each other while passing a joint, then joined a bunch of topless lesbians who were enthusiastically cursing several Mormon families who had gathered in support of the bill.
Not to digress, but why is it gay women on TV and in movies are always gorgeous, but in real life run they run the gamut from Barney Fife to Rosie O'Donnell? I have a theory that this fact is closely related to the sharp increase in the number of gay men, and if I could get a large grant could likely prove it.
Anyway, as I took some photos I strayed a little too close to the action. Out of nowhere I was suddenly pimp slapped by some big chick who looked like John Goodman with udders. Thankfully, one of the Mormon women threw a ham into the dyke mob, allowing me to slip away bruised but intact.
I decided to join a friendlier looking group of young sodomites for a run to a local Christian family-run bakery. Once we got there, Kitt and Ronee ordered a wedding cake in the shape of a cross topped with a couple of naked rump-riders consisting of Jesus and the Pope. Everything was going to plan until the group realized nobody had any money, so all they could do was urinate on the front of the building and somebody's car as they were leaving. I bought a cupcake and called it a day.
