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World News Bureau - By Scooter Van Neuter, WNB celebrity reporter
Alec Baldwin Announces He's Leaving Public Life
Leftist rage bomb Alec Baldwin announced to a stunned world his intention to leave public life. In a bloated 5000+ word Vulture.com piece Sunday, Baldwin blamed the shocking decision on a variety of individuals, networks, and even New York City itself.
As an example of Baldwin's worldwide popularity. Pope Francis issued the following statement Monday morning:
"On behalf of everyone familiar with your talents, please just shut the f*ck up and leave already, you Godless d*ckhead."
Piers Morgan Out At CNN
Insufferably pompous douche bag, Piers Morgan, announced Sunday he is leaving CNN.
Morgan blamed the parting due to the fact "Americans evidently don't enjoy being lectured to by an insufferably pompous douche bag, especially a British one."
Exactly.
Larry King: I Could Come Back
Walking cadaver, Larry King, has offered to come back to his former show in the wake of Piers Morgan's blessed departure.
When told of King's offer, CNN President Jeffry Zucker told reporters, "If we wanted to go that route, we'd have just done a lobotomy on Piers."
CNN Considering Kathy Griffin / Anderson Cooper Show
In an obvious attempt to replicate the success of Piers Morgan Live, sources say CNN is looking at pairing silver rump-rider Anderson Cooper with Godless, insecure plastic surgery junkie, Kathy Griffin.
The likelihood of the show being produced was increased Monday when it was learned that cancellation notices are being pre-prepared.
