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WASHINGTON (WNB) - Michelle Obama announced Friday that she has directed the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) to immediately start feeding the thousands of warehoused immigrant "DREAMERers" a balanced diet of healthy, nutritious food.
"I read that these children were being fed things like burritos, pizza, and ice cream - that's simply unacceptable," said the First Lady.
The new diet consists of oat bran, flax seeds, legumes, fruit (dates, figs, prunes), and soy meat substitute.
In a possibly related story, Border Patrol and ICE agents are baffled by an unexpected "immigration reversal," as hundreds of immigrants flee military bases and demand transportation to the border. "So now they want to go home - Good God, I wish they'd make up their minds," said one ICE agent.
