World News Bureau

Feds React To Threat Of Attack From Mexican-Based Jihadists

EL PASO, Texas (WNB) - A recently published Judicial Watch article detailing an Islamic State (IS or ISIS) plan to carry out attacks in the U.S. from bases in Mexico have prompted Homeland Security, Justice, and Defense agencies to take dramatic steps to safeguard southern border states.

Less than two weeks before the 13th anniversary of the 9-11 attacks, the Obama administration on Friday released the following statement:

"While the United States continues to welcome foreign DREAMERS seeking a better life, it can no longer be assumed that the munitions many carry are exclusively for peaceful purposes - effective immediately, all explosives will be confiscated upon entry. We sincerely hope this inconvenience doesn't discourage the pursuit of all that this great country has to offer."

 

A U.S. federal agent confiscates illegal immigrant's explosives

 

Obama: I Was Kidding About Not Having An ISIS Strategy

WASHINGTON (WNB) - President Obama on Friday backtracked on his earlier shocking statement that his administration had no strategy for dealing with the rapidly growing threat from the Islamic State (IS or ISIS).

"Unfortunately my attempt at levity yesterday was evidently misunderstood by some members of the press. I want to make it perfectly clear that we do have a concise and effective strategy for dealing with this Ice group," a somber Obama told reporters. "That strategy involves using our combined intelligence resources to locate Ice, then utilizing that intelligence to aggressively focus on this brutal organization. Make no mistake, Ice must know that the United States is serious and will not be deterred from the task at hand."

The President then departed for a preplanned golf outing with celebrity recording artist "'Lil Bow Wow" without answering questions.

 

A determined President Obama crafts US reponse to IS

Islamic Jihad Magazine Hints Of Attack on U.S.

QHATBOKS, Pakistan (WNB) - A new English language radical Islamic publication hints of a terror attack against the United States in the near future.

The  premier edition of the slickly produced magazine Jihad Today (below) features articles on bomb making, sabotaging water supplies and power plants, and other terrorists activities. One article alludes to attacks on U.S. soil in "201-." 

U.S. authorities say they are taking the implied threat seriously.

 

 

New Audio Of Michael Brown Shooting Raises Questions

FERGUSON, Missouri (WNB) - A recording alleged to have been made near the site of Michael Brown's death is raising new questions as to how many shots were actually fired at the Gentle Giant^(tm).

The audio clip of a phone conversation between a Ferguson man and his girlfriend features what sounds like gunshots in the background. Police authorities claim officer Darren Wilson shot Brown six times, but if the recording is authentic the number could have possibly been greater, casting doubts on the officer's testimony.

Listen to the audio clip here: Mike Brown shooting audio (2)

 

 

Arizona Praises Jerry Brown's Invitation To Illegals

PHOENIX, Arizona (WNB) - Arizona Governor Jan Brewer on Tuesday praised her California counterpart's statement welcoming all illegal immigrants in the U.S. to his state. 

"Gov. Jerry Brown's wonderful offer is representative of California's welcoming spirit. Now every illegal immigrant can look forward to a comfortable, taxpayer-provided life in America's most generous and friendly state. To make that dream a reality, I have established a fund to pay travel expenses to California for all Arizona illegals wanting that better life." said Brewer.

 

 

 

Church Asks For Return Of Stolen Items

ST. LOUIS, Missouri (WNB) - Sources say the St. Louis church that hosted the funeral for Gentle Giant^TM Michael Brown Monday is asking for the return of several items 'not accounted for' after the ceremony.

Reportedly missing after the funeral service were three 60" televisions, two desktop computers, 25 communion trays, two brass crosses, four brass candelabras, a 30 cup coffeemaker, two desks, a safe containing approximately $16,000 in cash, a Baldwin upright piano, and a large painting of Jesus.

 

"Reverend" Al Sharpton

 

SF Quake Results In Hundreds Of Genital Amputations

SAN FRANCISCO (WNB) - Bay area hospitals report 'hundreds' of cases of male genital amputation in the wake of Sunday's 6.1 magnitude earthquake.

"It goes without saying nobody gave much thought to certain unique aspects of a major quake in this area," said Harvey Milk Medical Center Director Will Easton. "With more quakes likely, we encourage gay males practice good oral hygiene and maybe keep a small ice cooler on hand."

San Francisco hospitals have issued an urgent request for urologic surgeons.

 

Harvey Milk Medical Center Director Will Easton

 

White House Tells Bloggers To Stand Down

WASHINGTON (WNB) - The White House issued an urgent press release on Friday requesting bloggers and social media users refrain from posting words or images related to President Obama that could incite terrorists to target him personally.

"This administration requests U.S. bloggers and individuals using social media refrain from possibly antagonizing Muslim adversaries with words or images related to President Obama personally. The President does not consider himself to be an enemy of Islam, and bears no personal ill will toward those who practice this religion of peace."

The White House request comes after recent social media posts showing Islamic State operatives holding threatening notes in front of U.S. locations.

 

White House requests images such as this not be posted online

 

Islamic State Polishes Image With New Logo

Self-proclaimed caliphate 'Islamic State' on Thursday issued a press release announcing their new name and introducing a stylish new logo and slogan (below).

Whites Rage, Loot After Black Cop Kills Unarmed White Youth

SALT LAKE CITY, Utah (WNB) - The recent shooting of a white unarmed youth by a black police officer has unleashed racial tensions that threaten to explode in this Utah city.

Unarmed 20-year-old Dillon Taylor was outside of a convenience store when the black officer, whose name continues to be withheld by authorities, shot and killed the youth as he merely attempted to pull up his pants.

News of the shooting sent outraged white residents out into their living rooms where they watched "Glee." Reports say "hundreds" of refrigerators were looted during commercials, as tensions reached a boiling point in this normally quiet city.

One white housewife's anger was typical of many: "I am sick and tired of black cops killing our unarmed kids just because they're white, and I'm not going to sit around and take it anymore - I'm writing a letter." 

Police called in reinforcements Tuesday night after someone threw a donut at a passing patrol car. The situation is described as 'tense.'

UPDATE: Sources say 'Rev.' Al Sharpton will be making an appearance this weekend to rally support for the police officer.

 

Angry whites rage over police killing of unarmed white youth

Holder Has Enough Evidence To Charge Officer With Hate Crime

FERGUSON, Missouri (WNB) - Sources say Atty. General Eric Holder believes he has enough evidence to charge police officer Darren Wilson with a hate crime in the killing of unarmed, aspiring rapper Michael Brown.

"Medical evidence indicates officer Wilson likely provoked the incident by hitting Brown in the hand or fist with his eye socket. The attack appears to have been totally unprovoked, and was likely perpetuated by the color of Brown's name - that's a hate crime," said a source in Holder's office. 

Additional evidence indicates Wilson continued to stalk the unarmed youth even though there were reports at the time of a white suspect possibly speeding less than 20 miles away. "He was determined to get this Brown guy, no matter what."

More on this story as it develops.

 

Unarmed youth Michael Brown

 

Medium Allegedly Receives Message From Michael Brown

LONG ISLAND, New Jersey (WNB) - Sources say a famous television medium allegedly made contact with Michael Brown, the youth whose death at the hands of police triggered riots and looting in Ferguson, Missouri.

"Long Island Medium Theresa Caputo psychically reached out to Michael Brown Saturday night as she watched TV news coverage of his death," said the source. "Brown's message from the other side was short: 'Mellows for some mores, bitch. Need mellows.' We can only guess at what he's asking for - some mellower reaction to his death, some mellow music at his funeral, or simply just more mellow for the world."

More on this story as it develops.

 

 

Mike Brown Honored With 'Gentile Giant' Clothing Line

LOS ANGELES, California (WNB) - California clothing company Thugfail on Tuesday introduced a new line of attire honoring 'Big Mike' Brown, the Missouri youth recently killed by police.

The company's first item is a baseball cap (below) similar to the one Brown was wearing when he robbed a convenience store and was later gunned down by police. The 'Gentile Giant' cap features authentic .45 caliber bullet holes.

Thugfail appeared on the clothing scene shortly after the killing of Trayvon Martin with the introduction of a Trayvon Martin hoodie bearing a 9 mm bullet hole. Controversy surrounding the case helped make the hoodie a best seller.

 

 

Eyewitness Overheard On Video Says Brown Attacked Cop

FERGUSON, Missouri (WNB) -  An eyewitness account overheard on a phone video made at the scene of the shooting of Gentle Giant ^(TM) Michael Brown appears to support the officer's testimony that he fired in self defense.

The following is a partial transcript of the video:

#1 Why he in the middle of the street with his pants pull down?

#2 Because after running away, he turn 'round and was comin' at the police like Godzilla, and police shot his monster ass. The pants he do like that

{crosstalk}

#2 Before that he was in truck on police either f*ckin' him or beatin' him - all you see is little legs of police movin' 'round under his fat ass. Police was screamin' halp halp halp

#1 Damn

{crosstalk}

#2 When he come out of truck, police was all flat and sh*t. When police come to, he get out and chase him with gun out

#1 Oh, the police got his gun

#2 When he turn 'round and come at police the police be dumpin on him, and I’m thinking the police be missin' – he like bam bam bam – but he keep comin' at him like King Kong on crack

#1 Damn

{crosstalk}

#2 Police finally get tired of shootin' his fat ass as he about to flatten him again so he finally shoot him in the face to make 'em stop. It worked pretty good

#1 Damn

#2 Good thing he didn' fall on police, they be two bodies out there

#1 Word

 

Artist rendering of eyewitness account

 

Feds Hope Trayvon PSA Will Stop Looting

FERGUSON, Missouri (WNB) - In an effort to curtail widespread looting associated with the recent death of Michael Brown, the U.S. Justice Dept. has turned to iconic unarmed dead African American youth Trayvon Martin in a new PSA (below) airing in Ferguson, Missouri and surrounding areas.

Authorities claim looting is down 12% since the PSA started running late Friday afternoon.

 

 

Homofascists Ramp Up Attack on Marriage in MS

By Gina Miller

Audio version: Homofascists Ramp Up Attack on Marriage

Back in March and then in May, I told you about a new, brazen campaign by homofascist activists to target three southern states, Mississippi, Alabama and Arkansas, with their aggressive push for the destruction of marriage and the creation of other special "rights" for sexual deviants. With the hellish support of homosexuality-lover Barack Obama (or whatever his name is) the militant homosexual movement is now on steroids, which makes them bolder than ever, bold enough to target conservative states with larger Christian populations.

Their deranged, multi-million-dollar program in the South continues, and this week here in Mississippi, homosexual activists descended on county courthouses in order to put into public record their "marriage" licenses from other states, since Mississippi still retains a bit of sanity and only recognizes marriage, not the counterfeiting of it.

READ MORE HERE

 

Photos May Show Michael Brown Decapitating Dwarf

FERGUSON, Missouri (WNB) - Information released Friday by the Ferguson Police Department indicates Michael Brown may have robbed a convenience store just before he was shot.

Security camera photos show a man resembling Brown assaulting a Dwarven store clerk that was trying to stop him from exiting with stolen cigars. Although grainy, the photos appear to show the man ripping the Dwarf's head off with his bare hands before leaving the store.

Michael Brown has so far been portrayed by friends, family, and supporters as a gentle, upright, and spiritual man - it remains to be seen whether his possibly decapitating a Dwarf for a package of cheap cigars will sully that image or enhance it.

More on this story as it develops.

UPDATE: We have been notified by several readers that the individual pictured should be referred to as a 'midget,' or better yet, a 'little person.'

We sincerely apologize to any Dwarfs or other types of miniature people we may have unintentionally offended.

 

Michael Brown Eyewitness Accounts Differ

FERGUSON, Missouri (WNB) -  Eyewitness accounts of the fatal shooting of Michael Brown widely differ on almost every detail, except for the fact Brown was callously gunned down for apparently no reason whatsoever.

The following are several witness accounts out of the dozens so far collected:

Anfwan Jenkins, 19-year-old male: He (Brown) was on his knees praying to Jesus on the sidewalk when a fat, white police officer approached from behind and tackled him while calling him 'n*gger boy'. Brown then laid face down with his hands outstretched as the officer shot him in the back 'approximately 50 - 100 times.'

Shaqisha Washington-Brown, 42-year-old female: Brown was walking on the sidewalk going to church when a fat, white police officer pulled up in his patrol car, got out, and proceeded to shoot Brown 'at least 25 times.' The officer then stood over Brown's body and urinated on him while laughing.

Reeshawn Washington, 28-year-old male: Michael Brown innocently approached a fat, white police officer sitting in his patrol car to give him a fresh cookie his mom had just baked, when the officer jumped out and started yelling, 'Get away from me you big n*gger! I hate n*ggers! OK, you're dead now, n*gger!' and started shooting. The officer then took the cookie, Brown's wallet, and a gold chain from his neck.

Uneeqwa Umtumbo-Jones, 36-year-old female: Brown was sleeping on the grass when a fat white police officer suddenly approached and attempted to lynch him with 'a bungee cord or something like that.' When Brown awoke he pleaded for mercy while holding his hands out to be cuffed. At this point the officer started shooting him while calling him a 'big fat n*gger boy.' The officer then danced on Brown's dead body while repeatedly calling him 'a fat n*gger boy who should be picking cotton on my plantation.'

More on this sad and disturbing story as it develops.

 

 

Gay Illegal Immigrants Demand Immunity

LOS ANGELES, California (WNB) - Gay illegal aliens have mounted a organized campaign demanding President Obama grant them immunity from deportation.

The group, calling itself "Beaners Puto Culo," argue they deserve immunity because they would face unusual hardships in their native countries, such as having a poor selection of plus-size 'hot' outfits, no Bravo TV channel, and having to use motor oil for anal lube.

In possibly related news, a new survey indicates that almost 92% of all illegal immigrants with criminal records are homosexuals.

 

 

In Memory of Michael Brown