WASHINGTON (WNB) - An ongoing National Institute of Health study has discovered a connection between lesbian obesity and male homosexuality.
The taxpayer funded study, now in its fourth year and costing $3 million to date, has determined that fat lesbians are a 'strong catalyst' in turning heterosexual men away from women.
"It's difficult enough for men that most lesbians these days look like Jason Aldean, but add blubber and you've got a toxic and confusing combination of plaid-wrapped masculinity, female sex organs, and shear bulk - bingo, you just turned gay," said Dr. Ravi Shanksham, Senior Research Coordinator on the project.
The ultimate goal of the study is to explore creative ways to utilize federal funds.
There goes another one - fat lesbians contribute to male homosexuality