Dems: Hillary "Turd In The Punchbowl"

WASHINGTON (WNB) - Leading Democrats are frantically seeking a presidential candidate to take Hillary Clinton's place, as 'Emailgate' gathers steam.

"Hillary is unquestionably the turd in the punchbowl at this point," said Sen. Al Frankin (RTRD-Minn). "We've now got to find a viable candidate that's not a proven liar, fraud, or criminal. It's going to be tough."

Many Democrats are looking seriously at either Sen. Elizabeth Warren (RTRD-Mass) or former Maryland Governor Martin O'Malley to challenge Hillary for the nomination, even though both have their own baggage. Warren, more commonly referred to as 'Liawatha' or 'Fauxcahontis,' is despised by many for her blatant lies about her non-existent native American heritage, while O'Malley is a dim-witted, unrepentant abortion fanatic who campaigned for baby-killing Texas gubernatorial candidate Wendy Davis.

Meanwhile, Clinton remains hunkered down in a undisclosed safe house, presumably desperately trying to figure out a way out of her self-imposed mess.