World News Bureau

Children Sickened At White House Easter Egg Roll

WASHINGTON (BHN)- Several children may have received food poisoning at the annual White House Easter Egg Roll on Monday. 

Sources say some of the colored "eggs" the children were playing with were possibly the results of first dog Bo eating several boxes of Peeps earlier. Witnesses saw the children playing with the "eggs" shortly before they fell ill. Three children were transported to an area hospital.

White House sources say they don't know where Bo found the Peeps, reportedly First Lady Michelle's favorite candy.

 

 

Netanyahu: Easier To Just Give Iran A Bomb

TEL AVIV (WNB) - Israel Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu lashed out Thursday at the details of the Obama administration's proposed agreement with Iran.

"Against all odds, the United States has managed to negotiate a deal giving the Iranians everything they already have," said Netanyahu. "The only surprise here is the fact Mr. Kerry hasn't offered to just give them nuclear weapons - it would have been easier. Of course, the deal isn't done yet."

The White House called Netanyahu's comments an overreaction, pointing out "there are worse things in life than getting nuked."

 

Sec. of State John Kerry and Iranian Foreign Affairs Minister Javad Zarif 

 

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Woman Under Investigation For Making Threats Against President

A former employee of a popular online news site is under investigation by the FBI and Department of Justice for allegedly posting material depicting a possible threat against President Obama. Ms. Sissy Bungblatt was taken into custody last week after being identified as the one who had posted the articles and images.

"She was just a bad apple," said her former employer. "Sissy apparently secretly despised President Obama and without my knowledge posted some really, really terrible things. She clearly hates all black people. It's sad."

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FBI Releases Popular Online News Sites

The Federal Bureau of Investigation returned control of online news outlets World News Bureau and two companion sites back to their owner after an investigation indicated a rogue employee posted material implying a threat toward President Obama without management's knowledge or consent.

Phoenix, Arizona resident Sissy Bungblatt is free on her own recognizance while awaiting trial on three charges of making threats toward an elected official.

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Scottsdale Businessman Hosting Obama Fundraiser

Arizona businessman, entrepreneur, and philanthropist Scooter Van Neuter announced Thursday that he is hosting a fundraising gala to benefit First Lady Michelle Obama's "Let's Move" campaign. "Let's Move" promotes healthy eating and exercise for children and adults.

"I've always been a strong supporter of the First Family, and the "Let's Move" campaign is especially dear to my heart, having had a girlfriend who once had a Cessna 150 make an emergency landing on her ass," said Van Neuter. "I want to help make sure this kind of thing never happens to another child."

Van Neuter also announced that his entire workforce is now comprised exclusively of people of color - a first for a major white-owned news corporation. "After what I saw in Ferguson and other cities, I knew I had to do something to stop white police officers from killing our unarmed black youth. Around here it's 'hands up, don't shoot' all day long."

 

Presidential threat/racist Sissy Bungblatt