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LOS ANGELES (WNB) - Hollywood celebrities turned out to show their support for Planned Parenthood Thursday. The agency has been facing fierce criticism with the recent release of videos showing personnel and executives making jokes and haggling over prices for aborted fetuses.
The celebrities donned matching tee shirts and sang songs, gave money, and dined on finger foods in the shape of aborted fetuses with raspberry sauce (below).
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FETID KHATBOKS, Iran - Iran's supreme leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, recently posted a number of Tweets mocking the Obama administration's negotiating prowess, just days after the two countries finalized a nuclear agreement.
In the messages, Khamenei implies Iran got the best of the Americans, saying, "You are we bitch now," and "Next time maybe you have Kerry wear goat costume," complete with smiley face (below)."
The White House has refused to comment on the Iranian messages.
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NEW YORK (WNB) - The parent company of Ashley Madison, an online matchmaking site for cheating spouses, says it was recently hacked and that personal information of many of its users was posted online.
The person or persons behind the attack are reportedly threatening to release all of the site’s personal information - including members' identities, sexual fantasies, and financial information if the company doesn’t take Ashley Madison offline, according to a prominent security firm.
In possibly related news, former president Bill Clinton reportedly suffered a mild stroke Monday while working at his computer at home. Sources say the 68-year-old Clinton was taken to an area hospital where he was monitored overnight, then released.
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WASHINGTON (WNB) - Iran personally thanked President Obama. John Kerry, and senior State Department officials on Thursday for a successful nuclear agreement with gifts of edible bouquets. Accompanying each of the red, white, and blue arrangements was a card hand-written in English that said simply "Thanks a lot."
"This gesture is indicative of the close personal friendship our two nations have formed in negotiating this mutually-beneficial agreement. They obviously know we like lollipops," stated a White House press release with a photo of one of the colorful arrangements (below).
Iranian gift of edible bouquet to President Obama
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LOS ANGELES (WNB) - A newly released video showing the fatal accident involving Bruce Jenner may indicate he was distracted at the time.
The video, recorded by two onboard security cameras on a transit bus, appears to show Jenner fondling his new breasts with both hands while driving. If true, this would collaborate a truck driver's claim that the former Olympian was "driving with his penis" when he passed him.
Police have given no word as to how this new video evidence may impact charges being filed in the case.
Jenner - dicking around behind the wheel?
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NEW YORK (WNB) - Hillary Clinton's interview on Democrat-friendly CNN didn't go well, when political correspondent Brianna Keiler unexpectedly asked her some real questions.
Clinton's handlers hoped her first major one-on-one interview would present her as warm and friendly, countering the perception many voters hold according to polls. Instead, Mrs. Clinton came off as phony, argumentative, poker-faced, and just plain weird as she held her eyes open wide in an effort to not look tired and drawn.
"She looked like she had a bowling pin up her butt," said one media critic, echoing the comments of many who witnessed the painful 19-minute interview. "If my wife looked at me like that, I'd think she was preparing to eat my brain."
Hillary Clinton on CNN
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LOS ANGELES (WNB) - Bruce Caitlyn Jenner will be writing online editorials about lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender individuals.
A spokesperson said the articles will appear on the celebrity website WhoSay as a way for Jenner to "explore matters of concern to the LGBT community and come to terms with his new life as a weird looking old woman with fake boobs and a real penis who runs into people."
In a related story, online new site, World News Bureau, owner Scooter Van Neuter announced today that Henry Peterson, a normal, straight family man, will be writing articles about non-lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender individuals.
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