World News Bureau - News at the speed of information
California Dilemma: More People On Welfare Despite Increased Welfare Spending
Los Angeles - California officials are at a loss to explain why welfare applicants are up sharply despite spending over $25 billion on the nation's most generous welfare benefits.
"I just don't get it - we give the homeless everything they need to get a job and get ahead - housing, food, clothes, transportation, cell phones, even free marijuhana, yet they continue to be mired in poverty. Apparently $25 billion isn't enough," said LA mayor Eric Garcetti.
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Poll: Americans Want ISIS Irradicated After They Destroy The White House
A new Farnum Poll shows that an overwhelming number of Americans, 97%, want ISIS removed from the face of the earth, but only after the terrorist organization makes good on their promise to blow up the White House.
"Americans clearly view President Obama as the more immediate threat," said a Farnum spokesperson. The poll has an error margin of plus or minus two percent.
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ISIS Poptart Undergoes Successful Makeover
SAINT DENIS, France - ISIS groupie Hasna Ait Boulahcen, 26, underwent a dramatic self-administered makeover on Thursday when she ignited explosives that blew her head off of her body.
"She had the kind of face that drives jihadists to sodomize young boys and farm animals," said an acquaintance of Boulahcen. "She looks a 100% better now - I'd do her."
French police were seen extinguishing the terrorist's flaming eyebrows with streams of urine before discarding her head in a nearby dumpster.
Doable - Hasna Ait Boulahcen before and after dramatic makeover