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VATICAN CITY, Rome (WNB) - Church insiders claim Iranian President Hassam Rouhani attempted to sexually accost Pope Francis during their private 40-minute meeting Tuesday.
Vatican sources say the Iranian leader "became aroused" by the Pontiff's movement in his dress-like attire. Rouhani was physically detained by the Pope's bodyguards after he exposed his genitals and attempted to "rub" them against Francis. The meeting reportedly resumed without incident after the Pope changed into slacks.
While great pains were taken by the Italians to cover all nude statues in the reception area, no one considered the sexual stimulus a devout Muslim would experience by seeing exposed pale flesh under a flowing gown. "We should have known," said one Bishop.
In addition to the Papal incident, there were also several reports of Iranian delegation members "uncontrollably masturbating" to a ceiling fresco depicting angelic cherubs and "improper contact" with a Holy icon featuring a lamb.
Pope Francis and Iranian President Rouhani
