World News Bureau

Putin Reels Under Obama Retaliation

 

Outrage Over Trump UN Tweet

NEW YORK (World News Bureau) - President-Elect Donald Trump has set off a firestorm of international criticism with a Tweet depicting the United Nations building as an Israeli embassy with the caption "Working on my latest project..." (below).

More as this story develops -

 

 

Putin Cries Foul Over Obama Punishment

MOSCOW, Russia (World News Bureau) - Vladimir Putin complained to reporters on Wednesday that he was falsely punished by President Obama for allegedly interfering in the American elections.

"This morning I received this (below). Even if unknown individuals from our country had somehow accessed Mrs. Clinton's emails, this punishment is many times worse than the crime," said Putin. "All I will say is Mr. Obama is fortunate to be leaving office soon," he added.

The White House denied sending Putin anything and called his actions "yet another insult to U.S. political sovereignty as well as a personal affront to the First Family."

 

 

Iran Building Aircraft Carrier

FETIHD KHATBOKS, Iran (World News Bureau) - Iran has announced it will significantly upgrade its navy, including building a state-of-the-art aircraft carrier (below).

"With the help of Allah, we will enlarge and modernize our navy. As part of that objective, we will build the most advanced aircraft carrier the world has ever seen which will put fear in the hearts of our enemies," Iranian Navy Commander Muhammad S'airi Azcrak was quoted as saying by Iran’s semi-official Fars News Agency.

 

Artist rendering of proposed Iranian aircraft carrier (Iranian Navy)

 

White House Christmas 2016

 

 

No Palace For A King

BETHLEHEM

What did I think I'd find? Maybe an ornate throne set in a gleaming palace. Surely, at the very least, a large house with many rooms filled with fine furnishings.

As I traveled, I tried to imagine the trappings of a palace, how large the rooms would be, the fine cloth on the furniture, the weave of the carpets. I could see in my mind the servants lined up ten deep, all waiting to fulfill the slightest need. The air inside would smell of fragrant incense and flowers. As I shivered in the cold, I kept thinking how warm the room was going to feel and how I would thaw my hands next to the cedar logs blazing in the great fireplace. I could almost hear the crackling of the fire and see its patterns dancing on the walls.

In the dead of night, a man whose robes were bright as lightning visited me in the field and invited me to behold a king just arrived, whose presence was marked by a shimmering star hanging from the heavens. I left my flocks and followed this star a great distance to where I stand now.

There is no palace. There are no servants and no fireplace. Just a rundown stable filled with a few animals and several people gazing upon an infant resting in a dirty manger. Royalty resides in a stable? This tiny child will rule the civilizations of the world?

I came seeking a powerful ruler with a palace and riches, but what I discovered wasn't greatness as measured by man.

I found the glory of God among us, and his name is Emmanuel.  

"For unto us a Child is born, unto us a Son is given; and the government will be upon His shoulder. And His name will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace" (Isaiah 9:5)

Merry Christmas to all -

 

 

Berlin Terrorist Keeled In Italy

MILAN, Italy (WORLD NEWS BUREAU) -  Berlin truck terrorist Anis Amri was shot dead in an early morning gunfight in Milan, Italy. Witnesses say Amri screamed, "You keeled me!" as he collapsed after being struck by bullets fired by two Milan police officers.

 

Tunisian Islamic terrorist Anis Amr gunned down in Milan

Michelle Obama: Melania Needs Better Diet

WASHINGTON (World News Bureau) - Outgoing First Lady Michelle Obama appears to have again indirectly criticized Melania Trump after Trump was widely quoted saying she "hates rabbit food" and enjoys chocolate every day.

"I can look at a person and tell if they eat healthy or not," Obama told a Vanity Fair interviewer on Wednesday. "I've found that a poor diet causes women to have freakishly oversized breasts, slim waist and thighs, and a goofy accent - not a good example for our children."

White House insiders say Michelle Obama has despised Melania Trump since photographs (below) of the two recently meeting provoked a flurry of unfavorable comments on social media.

 

Melania Trump meets with Michelle Obama at White House

 

Obama: Trump Caused Berlin Attack

OAHU, Hawaii (World News Bureau) - President Obama told reporters on Wednesday that Donald Trump has to bear much of the blame for the truck attack that killed and injured scores in Berlin on Monday. 

"Look, President-Elect Trump needs to learn that calling people "Islamic terrorists" just because they act out in a certain way on behalf of their religion does nothing but provoke anger and resentment that can then manifest in situations like we've recently seen. I think it's safe to say that Mr. Trump's comments had much to do with the Berlin attack."

 

 

U.S. Hit With Truck Attack

GARDENA, California (World News Bureau) - Just one day after a terror truck attack killed 12 in Berlin, authorities in Southern California report a similar incident that sent several people to the hospital. Local and federal authorities are searching for a white minivan that wildly careened through a Gardena Christmas tree lot, sending trees and people flying, before speeding away.

Witnesses say the van pulled into a parking space but instead of stopping, suddenly accelerated, going through a fence and into the lot where it hit several people and dozens of trees before fleeing. Police have released a security camera photo of the driver (below) and are asking the public for help in identifying this person before they can attack again.

 

 

Nat Geo Features Boy Who Believes He's A Girl

World News Bureau - The new January issue of National Geographic features a controversial cover story dealing with "transgender" youth and spotlights a nine-year-old boy who, for some reason, believes he is a girl.

"She (he) has lived as an openly transgender girl since age 5," Susan Goldberg, the magazine’s editor, wrote in a letter announcing the issue. "Today we're talking about our evolving understanding of people on the gender spectrum."

Critics claim the magazine would better serve its readers by examining what kind of parents would allow their 5-year-old son to start living as a female. "The story should be the idiot parents who facilitated this farce, likely dooming this poor boy to a sad lifetime of mental illness, substance abuse, and endless therapy," said one psychiatrist. 

 

 

Putin Offers Help For "Triggered" Obama, Dems.

MOSCOW, Russia (WORLD NEWS BUREAU) - Russian President Vladimir Putin has offered to send help to President Obama and other Democrats triggered by their party's epic election losses.

Putin made the offer during an interview on Russia TV Friday morning. "As you know, President Obama, Hillary Clinton, and other American Democrats continue to falsely blame us, as well as numerous others for their humiliating loss to Mr. Trump. In America these days being upset about something is called "being triggered" and it has become an epidemic requiring "safe spaces" and therapy to calm those so afflicted.

In the spirit of Christmas, I have authorized the transfer to Washington DC of 10 trained Russian therapy dogs, one metric ton of modeling clay, and a large quantity of soft, fuzzy sweaters for distribution to President Obama and others in his party. Hopefully, this will help them deal with this painful period in their lives." 

 

Putin: Help is on its way 

 

Hollywood D Listers Campaign For Electoral Vote Change

LOS ANGELES, California (World News Bureau) - A video has been released by the left-wing Unite For America that features a group of Hollywood entertainers demanding Republican Electoral College voters change their votes for Donald Trump.

The video features a collection of ancient and mostly unrecognizable C and D list celebrities such as Martin Sheen, BD Wong, J. Smith Cameron, Loretta Swit, Dominic Fumusa, and several others that are so far unidentified.

While major media outlets are heavily promoting the video, the response from middle America has been overwhelmingly negative, with the YouTube video quickly amassing over 24,000 "dislikes" to only 2,000 "likes" before the voting feature was removed. Unite For America also shut down commenting on the video for what would appear to be obvious reasons.

Despite the backlash, UFA spokesperson Emily Whitton Hernandez Washington believes the video will prompt the Republicans to change their votes. "These are real Hollywood celebrities making the request - they have to."

(Click to enlarge)

Powerful Hollywood overlords demand vote change

LeBron James Leftist Sports Retard Of The Year

CLEVELAND, Ohio (World News Bureau) - LeBron James has been named the Sports Illustrated "Leftist Sports Retard of the Year" for 2016.

James, who campaigned for Hillary Clinton, is pictured on the cover sporting a 24K gold safety pin as a political statement against Donald Trump. The American left has adopted the safety pin as a symbol of solidarity with open borders, the mass slaughter of unborn children, and the racist war against law enforcement, while most conservatives still associate the device with the collection of human waste.

 

 

Goodbye Obama Party

 

(No RSVP required)

 

2016 White House Christmas Card

Click for full size

 

Oregon Schools Issue Holiday Decoration Guidelines

WORLD NEWS BUREAU - An Oregon school district has issued a notification banning religious-themed decorations as well as depictions of Santa Claus this Christmas (now to be referred to as "Winter Festival.")

"The last thing these kids need is to glorify a fairy tale about some space baby or fat, privileged white guy giving out toys when the world is suffering extreme climate change and the extermination of people of color by the police," said Beth Graser Grumpton Holcomb, communications director for Hillsboro School District.

Acceptable Winter Festival decorations must be weather-themed, such as snowflakes or "transgender or gender neutral snowperson" (below).

 

Oregon schools recommended "transgender snowperson"

 

McDonald's Replacing Workers With Robots

WORLD NEWS BUREAU - Fast food king McDonald's has announced they are replacing workers with robots because of $15 an hour minimum wage laws being enacted across the country.

The automated food preparation and service robots (below) built by China's Jhangtin Automated Technologies Co. are programmed to mimic their human counterparts by screwing up orders, not including napkins, catsup, and straws, and replying "no problem" or blankly staring when customers thank them.

 

New McDonald's food preparation and serving robots