World News Bureau: March 2019

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De Blasio Announces 'Meatless Mondays'

New York Mayor Bill De Blasio announced Monday that all New York City public schools will have 'Meatless Mondays' beginning in the 2019-2020 school year.

"Cutting back on meat a little will improve New Yorkers’ health and reduce greenhouse gas emissions," said de Blasio in a press statement.

An apparently tipsy Mrs. De Blasio was overheard telling close friends at a charity auction Monday night that she and her husband have been doing Meatless Mondays for years, calling it "date night."

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Shock Claim: Ocasio-Cortez Is 'Puppet'

A recently released video claims that freshman U.S. Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (Rtrd-NY), is a 'puppet congresswoman' being controlled by a shadowy collective of radical leftists.

"Imagine a scrawny, horse-faced female Burt or Ernie with some commie's hand up her butt controlling her every word and movement - that's Ocasio-Cortez in a nutshell," says the video's producer, political commentator Christopher Patrick Kohls.

Ocasia-Cortez was quick to dismiss the allegations, saying, "That's so stupid. The only thing a hand in my butt makes me say is, 'Hey, Riley stop! That hurts.'"

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Celebrity's Vagina Cupcakes Outrage Transexuals

Outraged LGBTQ members condemned 'vagina' cupcakes served by a Hollywood feminist as intolerant and hateful to mentally ill men who think they're women transgender women, as they do not have actual vaginas.

C-list celebrity Debra Messing had posted the photo of the cupcakes in celebration of 'International Women's Day,' but after the criticisms quickly replaced it with one showing some of the cupcakes hastily adorned with what appears to be 'Lit'l Smokies' cocktail weenies (below).

A representative for one transgender organization called the correction "disgusting.'"