Joe Biden: "I've Turned Gay"

GILFORD, New Hampshire (World News Bureau) - Joe Biden announced at a campaign stop on Monday that he had "turned gay" over the weekend.

"Hey look, I don't know how it happened. I just know that when I woke up Sunday morning, I wanted to braid somebody's hair and redecorate the den," Biden told stunned patrons at the Gilford, New Hampshire diner. "Later I had abnormal relations with a nice-looking guy and I have to say it just felt right. It's time to put a homo in the White House, but I need your help."

While being applauded by the LGBTQ community, some see Biden's declaration as his latest desperate ploy to reverse his plummeting popularity. Over the last few weeks, Biden has suggested having Hillary Clinton, Michelle Obama, or even frontrunner Pete Buttigieg as his vice president, as well as upping the number of freebies his administration would dole out to voters, including free schooling, medical care, birth control, desserts, and major appliances. 

 

Joe Biden: Gay, desperate, or both? (API)